How to swim through ambition without sinking: fear, flow, and the art of letting go

Photo by Todd Quackenbush

One client recently shared a story about open water swimming.

She talked about how, in training for long swims, she learned something profound:

"If I hold on too tightly - if I’m tense or afraid - I sink. You have to relax into the water. You can’t fight it. You have to trust it will hold you."

That metaphor hit home.

Because isn’t life like that?

When the waves of fears crash in, whether they’re financial fears, parenting challenges, or career doubts, the instinct is often to tense up.

To brace. To control. To predict.

But the real wisdom might be in softening. Breathing. Relaxing into your emotions.

As a mission-driven woman, I’ve noticed this tendency to brace, control, and predict show up in a tug of war between my ambitions and my fears. 

Ambition is something I long for but hesitate to fully embrace, not because I lack drive, but because fear stands in the way. 

There’s often a deep desire to do more and make a greater impact, but this is paired with the reality of limited time, emotional burnout, and the invisible labor of caring for others.

I am afraid of what it might mean to want more and not reach it, especially when I am already stretched thin. 

I want to thrive and flourish, but the weight of responsibility, perfectionism, and the fear of failing can make ambition feel like a risk rather than a source of joy.

Sound familiar? 

I recognize that fear has its purpose. It wants to protect me. But it often pushes me into reactivity, gripping tighter, overthinking, or abandoning myself.

In contrast, I have experienced how ambition, when rooted in joy, connection, and creativity, can be expansive.

It reminds me of who I am when I feel most alive:

• Connecting deeply with my clients.

• Coaching with purpose.

• Building something rooted in core values.

In those moments, ambition doesn’t feel like a heavy burden to carry, it feels like an unfolding. A coming home. A spark that lights up the part of me that remembers why I started.

This kind of ambition comes from alignment, from trusting the inner current, not paddling against it.

When ambition is connected to joy, I notice I stop bracing. I breathe deeper. I take more thoughtful risks. I create more freely.

And that’s when things begin to flow. Not perfectly. Not without waves. But with a sense of momentum that feels earned, not forced.

Ambition, in its healthiest form, isn’t a race to do more, it’s an invitation to become more fully yourself.

To move from fear-driven urgency to value-driven action. To allow your work to nourish you, not just exhaust you.

Maybe that’s how we stay afloat, even when the waves feel big.

💬 A question for you:

What does ambition feel like when you’re not afraid?

🌸 When it’s rooted in joy, not pressure.

🌷 When it flows from alignment, not urgency.

🦋 When it helps you expand, not contract.

I’d love to support your journey back to purposeful, spacious ambition. 

Schedule a consult here. 💛

#missiondrivenleadership #ambition #connectingwithjoy #alignment #burnout #lettinggooffear